


Miscalculations

by TheTimelessChild0



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Humor, Minisode: Time Crash, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/TheTimelessChild0
Summary: You can hide from yourself, but not your own time stream.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Miscalculations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Star_less](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_less/gifts).



> Here's a little present for the _brilliant_ aspiring omo writer who GOT ME BACK!!! They inspired me, now I'm inspiring them. 
> 
> Merry Almost Christmas, Star_less!

The Doctor sat up, wiping the dust out of his hair. His first thought was that he had miscalculated some diagonal vector, and hit a bump in the vortex. His second thought was what he was doing there. 

In front of him, was a blond man in his early 40s, receding hairline, celery lapel and wearing a cricket outfit. Older than he ever was in that incarnation, but recognizable enough. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked himself, confused. 

“I could ask you the same. Also, where am I? This isn’t _my_ TARDIS. Not even close,” the Fifth Doctor noted, looking at the steampunk decor. 

“Hey, it’s bigger than the Star Trek replica you’re driving around with. At least mine’s actually _bigger on the inside_ ,” the current Doctor snarked. 

“At least mine doesn’t have antlers,” Five snapped back examining the readings on Ten’s console. 

The TARDIS shuddered as it tried, and failed to find its “younger brother” in its own time stream. It’s very difficult to find, when the entirety of time is inside of you.

“Tell me one thing? What happened to your hair? You should put a hat over it. We used to look good in a hat, remember? Your next guy should wear one too, don’t forget that. And definitely find a banana to put in your pocket. You’re not a rabbit,” the Doctor listed all the things wrong with his predecessor. 

“Will you _please_ be quiet? I’m trying to soothe her,” Five scolded. 

They worked quietly for a while, hitting buttons and trying to reverse the process that caused their parts of the Doctor’s time stream to collide.

The Doctor counted a bunch of different numbers and variables in his head, until he reached the part about where he had been _then_ and _now_. 

The word **3 days** popped into his awareness. It had almost been that now. He leaned on the console with one hand, pressing some buttons like a ballerina, while pressing his crotch lightly. It wasn’t too bad, but he couldn’t wiggle too much around his predecessor, his suit was too tight to cover it up, and both Doctors were wearing glasses. 

“What’s the matter? Do you need your ridiculously large jacket?” 5 quipped, rather out of the blue. 

“ ‘Course not, why’d you ask?” Ten questioned, thoroughly distracted again. 

“I’m getting a sort of prickly feeling. Seems to be rippling through from my future. As in, you,” 5 explained. 

“Probably just some intermittent sadness. My best mate, also a _Doctor_ just left to stay with her family. Don’t feel like talking about it.” the Doctor warned, rubbing his cheeks to soothe himself, then his thighs for the same reason. 

****

Once Belgium had been averted, and he’d waved goodbye to himself, the Doctor looked at the two hallways leading down into the twisty depths of TARDIS. 

He had only set his finger on the button that turned on the light in his bathroom of choice when he heard a loud honking noise, and was thrown backwards. He quickly squeezed his thighs together, as to prevent a leak when he inevitably fell. Judging by the tear in the TARDIS’ exterior, he’d managed to hit a boat. The Doctor instantly forgot everything that had occurred before this impossible moment, including his bladder. 

A life preserver rolled in front of him. It said “Titanic”. 

The Doctor had only one word to say in response: 

**WHAT.**


End file.
